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| this is the dude that women are fighting over on this show |
The show's runtime is basically divided between an hour of drama and an hour of competition. The hour of drama was obviously much more entertaining.
Jumping off of last week's cliffhanger, Brandon still wants to "figure things out" with Julia after giving Savannah his rose last week (favoring her over like four other girls). Meanwhile, Sheridan is still focused on only Julia while Julia is an emotional wreck about the whole situation. Julia says that she just wants to move on but she is very clearly focused on Brandon and Savannah over everything else going on, seemingly even rehearsals with Sheridan.
Throwing a wrench into the ordeal is the lovable bastard Chris Harrison, who announces that only serious couples should continue participating on the show. This freaks Gabe out, because he chose Ruby last week to further explore something, but didn't feel serious about her. He feels more serious about Savannah. So he basically tells Savannah that he's going home unless she picks him over Brandon. This causes Savannah to become an emotional wreck for a good while, but she of course chooses Brandon.
After the choice, Savannah and Brandon seem a lot more lovey-dovey with each other through the house, much to the dismay of Julia. Julia thinks this sudden upturn in PDA means that they're just pretending that they're serious about each other, and they're just pretending to be into each other to continue being on the show. They're not here for the Right Reasons. They're here for fame. In the Bachelor universe, being there for the Wrong Reasons is the worst thing you can possibly be. Julia won't shut up about it throughout the next hour. She talks to the camera about it. She talks to the other housemates about it. Eventually Savannah tells her that it's not her place and to chill out, which she does not do.
Julia does have a point. Brandon seems like he really sucks. Choosing Savannah but continuing to tell Julia that they can figure things out is a scumbag move. But the entire process makes it seem that Julia is still way more into Brandon than Sheridan, who is her actual duet/potential love partner. It's all very messy. I'm sure it's going to get much worse, and I look forward to it.
There are two dates this week, and they do seem a little bit more inspired than last week's Guitar Center debacle. Bekah and Danny, the boring couple that cause no drama and are therefore never onscreen, go on a shopping spree with a Hollywood stylist! Neat, I guess!
Natascha and Ryan go meet country star Chris Lane, who is married to former Bachelor winner Lauren Busnell (Chris Lane was not the Bachelor in that particular season of The Bachelor). The couple pretend to know that they actually know who Chris Lane is and enjoy the concert.
Then it's time for the singing competition portion of the show, which is far less interesting even if it involves Kesha. She's one of the judges for this segment along with Jason Mraz and Bachelorette couple JoJo Fletcher and Jordan Rodgers. They say they're judging them musically, but it's mostly about the "connection." So eye contact, body language, all that good stuff are being judged. Some do better than others.
Natascha absolutely slays Rihanna's portion of "Stay," but overshadows Ryan even though there seems to be a connection there. Chris and Bri continue to be cute, and they work well together as musicians. Jamie is extremely nervous before the performance but is downright giddy after she and Trevor do a fine job. Everybody's mostly fine.
The edits of the first few episodes that previewed this portion of the competition have teased couples that don't seem that into each other, or are extremely one-sided. Those clips have usually been accompanied by images of Julia and Sheridan. That was a classic Bachelor bait-and-switch, though. There are two couples that had issues.
The first is, shockingly, Bekah and Danny. Bekah and Danny do an abysmal rendition of The Lumineers' "Ho Hey." Danny goes in for a kiss, awwww. He goes in for another one, and Bekah curves him. Not great! The judges say they seem more like very good friends than an actual couple.
Meanwhile, Savannah and Brandon do a chemistry-less, very very bad performance of Cheap Trick's "I Want You To Want Me." Brandon shows that his voices is utter garbage, and he makes very ridiculous faces while he sings. The judges say it feels like they're just getting to know each other, much to Julia's delight.
The rose ceremony happens with the judges picking who goes home. Naturally, the two couples who had the most problems are the ones that are on the chopping block. I'd say Savannah/Brandon had the worst performance of anybody, but because this is The Bachelor and they provide the most drama, they stay. Bekah and Danny were consistently referred to as one of the stronger couples on the show in the first two episodes, despite hardly being shown at all. They were not long for this world.
Previews of future episodes make it certainly seem like this whole Sheridan/Julia/Brandon/Savannah thing isn't going away soon. I originally pegged Matt as the villain of this season of reality television, but so far Brandon's running away with it. Not to say Julia is innocent in this either.
Postmortem:
- Ruby, who got the short end of the stick in all the episode-starting drama. I think she had two lines on the show, which is still better than Leather Jacket Guy and Hot Mr. Clean from episode one.
- Gabe, who doesn't watch enough reality television to know that "if you're not serious about this, go home" is a bluff by Chris Harrison and he is a fool for buying into it.
- Bekah and Danny, who are now going from two minutes of screen time per episode to zero. Big change.
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