Thoughts On The Packers Ending The Lions' Season.... Again

Matthew Stafford might be out for the rest of the season with a rib injury, meaning means the Lions' season would have been over even with a win against Green Bay [Rey Del Rio/Getty]

The aftermath of last week's Lions game might not have told us much about where the team is now and especially not where it's going in the future, but it was still a very fun time. Detroit was still very technically in the playoff race and had a freshly unleashed Matthew Stafford at the helm. Despite the Lions' laundry list of injuries, Darrell Bevell had a chance this week to tie Matt Patricia's division win total against the dreaded Green Bay Packers.

Unfortunately, the Packers are very much not the Bears. Instead of having one of the worst starting quarterbacks in the league in Mitch Trubisky, the Packers have Aaron Rodgers, an all-time great quarterback who is currently tearing through the league to prove he's still got a lot left in the tank despite just turning 37. He largely tore up the Lions defense in a still-close 31-24 game that was competitive until the end.

The Packers were sustaining long scoring drives for most of the game, keeping Detroit's abysmal defense on the field and tiring them out. The Lions were without several key players both on the defensive line and in the secondary, and there was truly nothing they could do about the Green Bay offense. The Packers only really had one big play in Davante Adams' 56-yard touchdown, but they didn't need big plays. The Lions were solid at forcing the Packers into third down situations, but Rodgers was lethal in those situations. The Packers converted 8 of their 11 third down situations.

The Lions are still mathematically in the playoff equation and could still get the last wild card spot with an 8-8 record and a lot of favors from other teams in the NFC, but this loss to the Packers probably cements them as a team outside the playoff race. The Packers are notorious Lion-killers, and this year is no different. If the Lions have an even mediocre defense, they might be able to stop some of those long, slow Packers scoring drives and win this game. But the Lions don't have a mediocre defense. They have a defense that has Jahlani Tavai trying to cover tight ends.

There was a lot of discussion over the course of the game about officiating, and I do think there were some absolutely dreadful calls in this game. The Lions ended up scoring on the drive anyway, but Marvin Jones' insane catch inside the 5-yard line should've been a catch. I don't know how it wasn't overturned and ruled one. There probably should've been a pass interference call on Matthew Stafford's throw to Quintez Cephus at the end of the first half. The onside kick at the end of regulation was a coin flip, and would've been nearly impossible to overturn no matter what the officials called. Unfortunately, the officials called it out of bounds, and the Packers were able to end the game in victory formation.

While those are tough calls, this isn't one of those egregious officiating jobs against the Lions that completely cost them the game (unlike last year's Lions-Packers game at Lambeau). This loss is entirely on the Lions for failing to stop one of the best offenses in the league. This is a game they could have won, but simply didn't.

But even if the Lions eke out a win and stay more firmly in playoff contention, the season would've likely been over anyway. Matthew Stafford took a rough hit while sliding late in the game, and his status for the rest of the season is unknown with a ribs injury. It's unfortunate. He was having another great game, going 24-34 for 244 yards and a touchdown. If not for some drops he puts up even better numbers. His only real issue this game was maybe holding onto the ball a little too long on some plays with pressure. It didn't help of course that the Lions banged-up offensive line was letting Packers through essentially right after the snap.

With the team's playoff hopes essentially dead, I'd be surprised if Stafford plays another down this season. Some are already wondering aloud if that was the last time we'll ever see him play in a Lions jersey. I don't think that's the case. Unless Stafford decides to retire for his health (which I wouldn't blame him for one bit), I don't think he's getting traded this offseason. The cap hit is still large and he's had enough recent injury concerns that will make him even more difficult to find a suitor. I think at most the Lions draft a young quarterback in the first round and let him learn for a bit while Stafford plays out his contract.

So what does this mean for the rest of the season? It probably means Chase Daniel is playing quarterback, which is a lot less fun than Matthew Stafford. Daniel looked rough in his short appearance on Sunday. I don't see him being able to do much more in the last few weeks. Bevell was able to unleash a quarterback like Stafford in these last two weeks. He can't do that with Daniel.

That's good news for Lions fans that wanted the team to tank for draft position anyway. This defense gets more banged up and plays worse basically every week, and now the offense is going to be hamstrung by a much worse quarterback, a banged-up offensive line that's leaking like a sieve, and various receivers/running backs also playing hurt.

The best-case situation for the Lions under Bevell with playoffs out of the picture was looking competitive against good teams while losing close games and getting draft position. They'll probably have no trouble getting the draft position now. The "playing competitive games" and "being entertaining" parts of the equation aren't looking as good now, though.

What, If Anything, Does The Lions' Win Over the Bears Mean?

Darrell Bevell and Matthew Stafford had just about as good of a game as you could ask against the Bears [Mark J. Rebilas, USA Today]

Sunday was the first game the Detroit Lions played after firing head coach Matt Patricia and general manager Bob Quinn. Offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell took on the role of interim head coach, and the team won a thrilling come-from-behind game against the Chicago Bears 34-30. Most of the last three seasons have been soul-sucking, even when the Lions won. This ended up being an exciting game even for some glaring problems that will need to be addressed by the next regime. But does it actually mean anything?

The answer is probably not much. The Lions are technically one game behind the last wild card spot in the NFC, with a tiebreaker win over the Cardinals and a chance to split the season against the Vikings in the final stretch. However, the Lions played a spiraling Chicago squad that has now lost six straight games, and Detroit needed a little bit of luck to get past them. The Lions defense is still a complete mess, and there are injuries all around the team.

I don't think this game was completely meaningless, however. There are a few things I think we can glean from this game.

First off, the offense played maybe its best game of the season, even without starting running back D'Andre Swift, star receiver Kenny Golladay, and with starting tackle Tyrell Crosby hurting his ankle. The Lions had 460 yards on the day, most of which came from the air. Detroit faced a hefty Bears defense and only punted twice. That's a really good sign.

That's all because Matthew Stafford played his best game of the season on Sunday. He had 402 passing yards for 3 touchdowns and 1 interception. Eight different Lions caught passes from Stafford, even without Golladay, Swift and Marvin Hall, who was released earlier this weekend. Stafford looked like his old self, and he aired it out a heck of a lot more than he did earlier this season.

Does this mean the more conservative gameplan in the passing game was more on Patricia than Bevell? It's hard to say. Bevell might just be unleashing Stafford more because he really doesn't have much to lose at this point. A more fiery Stafford lets him win more games, which gives him a better shot at becoming the full-time head coach at the end of the season (or at least keeping his job as offensive coordinator). No matter what, it's still good to see a more unleashed Stafford. Bevell said he just wanted the guys to have fun out there this week, and No. 9 definitely looked like he was having a blast. The pick was unfortunate, but for the majority of the game, Stafford looked like he was once again The Guy.

There were still some problems from the offense of the last 11 weeks this week, though. Adrian Peterson did have 57 yards and 2 touchdowns, but he got them averaging 3.6 yards per carry. There was still a little too much run-run-pass in the offensive gameplan for my liking, but that's one of my few complaints on the offensive side of the ball.

Marvin Jones had a killer day as Stafford's number one option with 116 yards and a score on 8 receptions. T.J. Hockenson continues to play really well as the top tight end option on the team. Quintez Cephus, Danny Amendola and even Mohamed Sanu had solid contributions. Jamal Agnew's role as a gadget player didn't look great, however. He's a very talented returner, but he adds enough on either offense or defense to warrant a roster spot at this point.

The defense showed that it still needs a lot of work when the next GM comes in. Mitch Trubisky now has a passer rating of over 100 in five of his five games against the Lions. Trubisky is one of the worst starting quarterbacks in the league, if not the worst. Having him torch the Lions every time they meet is unacceptable. The Lions secondary is very banged up right now, but even considering that, they need to do better.

The linebackers definitely still need a lot of work along with the secondary. There were way too many missed and broken tackles on the second and third levels. Jamie Collins either looks like a complete stud or a complete liability when he's out there, with very little in between. That's still a considerable amount better than the guys he plays next to.

The defensive line didn't get completely gashed, but they still gave up way too many yards to David Montgomery and Cordarrelle Patterson. There were impressive plays late in the game from Romeo Okwara, Kevin Strong and John Penisini, but you still want to see more from Detroit's defensive front.

If there's anything to learn from this game, it's that there's still enough talent and weapons on offense for the Lions to be one of the better teams in the league at scoring. That it's been held back for so long in Patricia's tenure really is a huge indictment on that regime (and also on Bevell if he did play a role in the more conservative playcalling from earlier in the season). On the other hand, the next GM and head coach have a lot of work to do with that defense. It's been discussed ad nauseum how a "defensive guru" like Patricia could create a unit this bad is completely ridiculous, but it does bear repeating. The defense is atrocious, and I don't think it would be that different even if it was at full health.

This game probably doesn't play much of a factor in how heavily Bevell is considered for the next coaching job, but if he does continue to call plays like this, he'll go further up the list of candidates. If he can indeed win most of the last few games against quality opponents and possibly even sneak the Lions in the playoff race, he'll deserve it. I don't know if that gets him above a candidate like Robert Saleh of the 49ers (who seems tailor-made for the Detroit gig), but it'll definitely make the decision harder.

The same goes for Matthew Stafford. The Lions are going to have some interesting decisions to make with Stafford's future. I'm not nearly as convinced as many are that Stafford is going to be trade-bait this offseason (that contract will still a difficult one to dump on another team even if he's playing well). I think if anything, they'll draft a young quarterback to learn under Stafford while he plays out his current contract. That will become even more likely if the Lions hire an offensive-minded head coach like Joe Brady or Eric Bienemy (if Bevell stays or if the Lions go more defensive-minded like Saleh, I think the regime might be more comfortable with a more proven commodity like Stafford sticking around). If he continues to play more like he did in this game and less like he has against, say, the Vikings, it'll be a lot tougher decision for anyone who does want him gone.

But these are things we won't know until week 17. This team is basically a blank slate now that Patricia is gone, and we only have a one-game sample size against a Bears team in complete freefall to know what they look like without him. One thing I do know is that I had a lot of fun watching this game, and that was nice for a change.

A Postmortem for the Quinntricia Lions, 2018-2020

Patricia wearing a shirt with Goodell as a clown was a very "takes one to know one" situation

As a lifelong Detroit Lions fan, I’ve seen plenty of pain and sadness in my 26 years on this earth. The 2008 Lions remain the worst team in the history of the NFL (the only other team to go 0-16, the 2017 Cleveland Browns, was much better than the 2008 Lions). I’ve never seen the Lions host a playoff game. I’ve never seen them win a playoff game. The team’s last division title was a year before I was born. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have more titles in the Lions’ division in my lifetime; the Bucaneers haven’t played in said division for 18 years.

My family owned season tickets to the Lions for most of the last decade. This means I was able to witness many heartbreaks firsthand. I attended games during that dreadful 0-16 season. I saw the Jim Schwartz Rule live as it happened. I saw the Suh Stomp in another Thanksgiving Day loss. When Aaron Rodgers and Jay Cutler missed a significant part of the 2013 season, the NFC North was the Lions’ to lose. I was at the game where Justin Tucker single-footedly kicked the Lions out of contention that year. The walk to the car with my father after that game felt more like the aftermath of a funeral than a football game. 

Yet none of this sadness or heartbreak ever made me want to stop being a Lions fan. I’ve been hooked on this team for my entire life. In good seasons and bad seasons, they’ve always at least kept me entertained. Matt Millen as GM couldn’t break me. Neither could Steve Mariucci, Rod Marinelli or Marty Morninwheg as coaches. Not even the quarterback play of Scott Mitchell, Dave Krieg, Don Majkowski, Charlie Batch, Frank Reich, Gus Frerotte, Stoney Case, Ty Detmer, Mike McMahon, Joey Harrington, Jeff Garcia, Jon Kitna, Dan Orlovsky, Daunte Culpepper, or Drew Stanton could keep me from loving this stupid, awful football team.

Matt Patricia was different, but now he’s gone. Patricia was fired last Saturday after going 13-29-1 in his career as Lions coach. That’s one more loss and one more tie than his predecessor Jim Caldwell had. That’s also 23 less wins than Caldwell.

Patricia was hired specially by his friend from New England Bob Quinn, who was also fired on Saturday. They spent the last two and a half years completely dismantling everything that was good or fun about Jim Caldwell’s teams. They broke me as a fan in ways I didn’t think possible

Even when Caldwell’s teams (and even Jim Schwartz’s teams before him) were losing games, they were often at least entertaining, the classic Lions finding new and interesting ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. When they won, it was exciting. Matthew Stafford leading game-winning drives in the last few minutes of a game was a regular occurrence. It was a rollercoaster that had plenty of downs, but man, those ups felt good.

The Matt Patricia/Bob Quinn Lions weren’t a rollercoaster. They weren’t much of anything other than losers. The few wins the team has gotten in the past three years have mostly been ugly, grit-it-out wins. The losses were mostly ugly late-game collapses or complete domination at the hands of the Lions’ opponents. There was nothing exciting about this football team. Even when Stafford was playing perhaps the best football of his career before an injury cut his 2019 campaign short, the team couldn’t win games. The Matt Patricia Lions were the least competitive Lions team since 2008. Even Jim Schwartz for all his faults was putting out better teams.

This is because the Quinntricia team was dead-set on doing things their way no matter how little it was working. The Lions wanted to establish the run on offense and stop the run on defense. These are good and noble things to want your football teams to do, but they shouldn’t be your main goals in the modern NFL.

Patricia and Quinn seemed to have an active disdain for pressuring opposing quarterbacks. On offense, they seemed dead set on running the ball up the middle even when it was clear it wasn’t going to work. Defenses knew when the Lions had the ball, it was going to be run-run-pass-punt. Like clockwork.

As little fun as fans were having during these losses, players seemed to be having even less fun. Matt Patricia came into the locker room wanting to be a hard-assed, disciplined football coach. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with that, but it only works if you can get the respect of your team. By all accounts, Patricia failed to do this in his first season. As opposed to Caldwell, who was absolutely adored by his players, Patricia butted heads with a ton of his best players, especially those that had bigger personalities or posted a lot on social media. There’s a difference between being a hardass coach and just being a dick, and the Lions lost out on a lot of talent because of Patricia’s approach. Here are just a few of the players that Patricia  and Quinn alienated in Detroit:

• Golden Tate: Pro Bowl WR, one of Stafford’s favorite targets, 7th all-time in Lions receiving yards, 5th all-time in receptions. Traded to the Eagles for a 3rd round pick.

• Glover Quin: Pro Bowl safety, former second team All-Pro, team captain, one of the best Lions defenders of the last decade. Retired after a down year in 2018.

• Quandre Diggs: Starter at safety and team captain. Traded to Seattle for a 5th round pick after struggling a few weeks. His play immediately bounced back with the Seahawks.

• Darius Slay: Three-time Pro Bowl corner, All-Pro, Detroit’s best defensive player from 2014-2019. Traded to Philadelphia for a 3rd rounder and 5th rounder. Perhaps the most well-known critic of the Quinntricia front office.

• Eric Ebron: Cut from the Lions after a killer finish to 2017. Became a Pro Bowler the very next season with the Colts. Might win a ring in Pittsburgh this year.

• Graham Glasgow: No accolades, but one of the Lions’ most consistent offensive linemen who was a quality starter at any position on the interior. Wasn’t even approached about a contract extension despite great play and Quinn being a GM who always talked about the importance of the trenches.

With the exception of Ebron who always got a raw deal from Lions fans, these players weren’t just quality starters; they were fan favorites. Patricia’s style ran all of them out of town. 

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. A’Shawn Robinson, Ziggy Ansah, Travis Fulgham, Toby Johnson, and Elijah Lee are just a few of the former players that danced on Patricia’s grave as he left. Star receiver Kenny Golladay liked a post on Instagram announcing the firing. I’ve been a fan of the NFL my entire life. I’ve never seen former players come out like this after a coach was fired. This was a complete and utter embarrassment from the front office and coaching staff.

To add insult to injury, the players this front office did bring in were rarely much better. And the more Patriot-like “culture fits” that Quinn would sign often seemed undisciplined and prone to stupid mistakes in games, even veterans like Jamie Collins and Danny Amendola, who are still two of the better players they brought in.

But the actual quality of the players never mattered. It was doing things their way, in opposition to any reality. Instead of building on what Schwartz and then Caldwell did, Quinntricia tore it down. They wanted their archaic vision of football to work, even if it meant completely dismantling the Lions roster trying to fit this square peg through that round hole.

Now the Lions are back to square one. The next GM and head coach will inherit one of the biggest messes in the NFL. The defense that Jim Caldwell and Teryl Austin left was bad, but “defensive genius” Matt Patricia’s is even worse. There are some really solid pieces on offense, but the team only has one receiver signed after this year, and it’s the fourth man on the depth chart. Matthew Stafford isn’t getting any younger, he’s dealt with lingering injuries in the last few seasons, and his play has gone down this season. The new powers that be might see that and look to draft a new franchise quarterback. 

And some of this could have been avoided. It was abundantly clear after last year that this wasn’t working, but these two losers were given another half-season to make “the Patriot Way” work before they were fired on a holiday weekend. Maybe if they were fired after last season, the next GM could’ve mended things with Slay. Maybe Golladay would have signed an extension by now. Maybe Jeff Okudah could be showing more signs of life in his rookie season if he was working with better coaches than Patricia and Cory Undlin.

But what’s done is done. The Lions let this dumpster fire burn for an extra eleven games, but now the arsonists are gone. I don’t envy the next coach and GM, but I am excited to get excited about football again after two and a half years of this regime beating my love of the sport out of me.

Tigers Series Review: vs. Royals (7/27-7/30)

Because 2020 wasn't weird enough, JaCoby Jones is one of the best players in all of baseball through one week of play [AP]

Well, baseball is still being played (for now). There are a bunch of teams dealing with themselves or opponents testing positive for COVID, but that's only led to a bunch of game postponements in a season where they're already trying to play as many baseball games as they can in a very short amount of time. It seems as though even though HALF OF AN ENTIRE TEAM is affected, this is still happening.

The Tigers have still played all of their games so far (we'll see if they play against the Cardinals next week). This week, they split a series 2-2 with the Royals. The Royals seemed to really have the Tigers number in several games. Kansas City's two wins especially, they were hitting seemingly every gap they could find (they had 13 hits in both of those games).

The Tigers did manage to steal a couple games on their continuing home run hot streak. I'm not sure how long that can last, but it's a very welcome sight for now.

MV-JaCoby: The biggest surprise of the year is easily JaCoby Jones' hitting prowess. He's the ninth batter in the order, but he's easily been the best hitter through seven games. Jones has been a career .216 hitter which is very, very bad. Yet somehow he's here with a .409 batting average, .458 on-base percentage and three home runs. Against the Royals, he went 6-for-12 with 2 home runs and a walk. He's continued to be a plus on defense, and if he keeps up this hot streak on offense, he's a huge threat.

C.J. Cron Crashes: Over the weekend I sang the praises of Tigers first baseman C.J. Cron, who at the time looked like he might be Detroit's bat. He's going to want to forget about this Royals series after going 0-for-12 with 8 strikeouts. Cron is currently tied for second in the league in striking out the most times. His batting average has sunk to .174 on the year, but thanks to some walks he's still got one of the better OBP's on the team. Hopefully his offense can warm up a little more against the Reds again this weekend.

A Triple Schoop Of Homers: Jonathan Schoop only had three hits against Kansas City, but all three of them were home runs. He had one each for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday's games, batting in 6 runs. Obviously I'd like to see something a little less all-or-nothing from him, but it's hard to complain much about a guy who came up big like that in back-to-back-to-back games.

Speaking of Only Hitting Home Runs: I'm convinced that Miguel Cabrera will have 30 hits in the entire season, and 25 of those will be home runs. His only hit against Cincinnati was a homer, and two of Miggy's three in this series were homers (both on Thursday night, his first two-home run game since 2016). After a really rough Reds series, Miggy's making more contact in general. He only struck out twice this go-around.

Missing Bats: Cameron Maybin took the Royals series as a chance to get his batting average to a respectable .278 after a shaky start, but a lot more players are still struggling to do much offense.

Jeimer Candelario needs to get it together quickly. He has yet to get a single hit, and his OBP is a dreadful .105. Grayson Greiner plays a lot less as the backup catcher, but he also hasn't reached base on a hit. Regular leadoff man Niko Goodrum is batting a paltry .217. Christin Stewart finally got his first hits of the season against Kansas City including the go-ahead home run on Tuesday's game, but he's still largely struggling.

Of the Tigers that have appeared regularly in the lineup, only Jones, Cron and Victor Reyes have an OBP above .300. This offense is hitting home runs at clutch times, but there's no real consistency. The Tigers lead the league in home runs, but they're second in the league in striking out, are 26th in batting average and 25th in OBP. I mentioned Schoop's offense being all-or-nothing, but really that's the entire team right now aside from JaCoby Jones.

Starters Struggling: The Tigers starting pitchers still have yet to record a quality start. Ivan Nova came close on Thursday, but got pulled after 5.2 innings because he put a few guys on base. While he only had two runs earned against him, the Royals bats were still feasting on a lot of his pitchers, getting 8 hits off of him. He certainly looked better here than he did against the Reds, but a lot of those hits were for extra bases. Nova's a pitch-to-contact hitter. It comes with the territory. But you obviously want to see that contact ending in a lot more gloves than grass. 

I'm starting to worry about Matthew Boyd. The first pitcher in Detroit's rotation had another rough outing on Wednesday. He had a bit more control this time around, striking out 6 batters, but he began his appearance looking very shaky and wild. He had 4 runs earned against him off 9 hits. He didn't walk anybody or give up any home runs, and it was nice to see him rein it in a bit in the later innings, but he still doesn't look quite like himself yet.

Michael Fulmer made his first appearance since Tommy John surgery on Monday's game, and he got beat up early. He only made it through 2.2 innings, giving up 5 hits, 4 runs (3 of them home runs), and a walk with 3 strikeouts thrown in there. Since he's returning from surgery and had to deal with a shortened training campaign, I'm not necessarily surprised. He's got a lot of rust he needs to take care of. I can't see him returning to 2016-17 form, and if he wants to even just be a reliable starter in the back of the rotation it will probably take a bit of work.

Tuesday's game was a bullpen game. Rony Garcia pitched fine enough in his debut: 3 hits, 3 runs (2 earned), 3 strikeouts, no walks in three innings. Those three runs were the only ones the Royals would get, and the rest of the bullpen was able to take care of things pretty easily. Garcia didn't look like a world-beater, but he didn't need to be. It was a solid MLB debut.

Bullpen Review: I'll keep things short and sweet. Jose Cisnero, Buck Farmer, Gregory Soto and Joe Jimenez are all looking good-to-stellar. Cisnero has given up two runs in his four innings pitched, but I've thought his stuff looked mostly good. Soto and Farmer both have yet to give up a run. Jimenez leads the league in saves. John Schreiber is another reliever that hasn't given up a run, but I need to see a bit more of him.

After that, things are looking iffier. The Tigers are relying on a lot of young relievers that are facing major league hitters for the first time. Kyle Funkhouser, Beau Burrows and Anthony Castro are all going to need a bit of seasoning. The three of them made their MLB debuts on Monday, and the Royals were relentless against them. Detroit just picked up Carson Fulmer off of waivers. He made his first appearance as a Tiger on Monday and was scoreless, but struggled in his outing on Thursday, allowing Kansas City's last two runs that would be enough to seal the game for the Royals.

A lot of these guys have obviously only pitched 2-4 innings apiece over the course of 7 games. We're obviously going to have to see a bit more from each of them before we can make any real judgments. Since the Tigers starting pitchers haven't been going very deep into games, we'll probably get those opportunities soon.

Overall, the Tigers are just about as frustrating to watch as I expected, but they're stealing enough games to make things interesting. With the exception of the Opening Day game against the Reds and the home opener against the Royals, things have at least been relatively close. The team has plenty of offensive struggles, but they're making it up with a lot of home runs that makes the team fun to watch when they are making contact with balls. From this small sample size, I don't think the Tigers will be much of a threat even in an expanded playoff this season. However, the team definitely feels like it will be able to steal some games they probably shouldn't win, and with younger players hopefully being called up soon, I'm definitely interested in seeing where things go.

Tigers Series Review: At Cincinnati Reds (7/24-26)

Through three games, C.J. Cron has been... on. [Reinhold Matay/USA Today]

Going into the baseball season, I was briefly thinking about doing a blog about every single game out of 60 that I caught live. I still might do individual game recaps if games are eventful enough or the Tigers stay competitive (big asks), but I thought that after Detroit got killed in the first game of the year that series summaries might be a better bet. So here we are!

And now it might be the only series review I do all season, since a third of the Miami Marlins roster has tested positive for COVID-19. That puts the entire season for all teams at risk. If the season is actually called, the Tigers end the year with a winning record in a first-place tie for the American League. Truly a season to remember.

Let's get down to it.

MV-C.J.: The big story for the Tigers so far is the impact of first baseman C.J. Cron. Cron was signed to a one-year, $6.1 million deal last offseason. Early returns on that investment are looking mighty positive. Cron's home run in the first game of the season was just about the only positive thing about that game. He followed that up nicely in the next two games, going 3-for-8 with 3 RBIs and another home run. Cron has easily been the most consistent Tigers bat for the first few games. He's backed that up with good fielding, making quite a few heads-up plays and snagging several line-drives at first. He especially seemed to have Joey Votto's number this series. Let's hope he keeps it up.

The Schoop Of All This Rebuilding: The Tigers' other one-year, $6.1 million signing, second baseman Jonathan Schoop, has also paid off nicely. While his Sunday effort wasn't as good (0-for-4 with 3 strikeouts), Schoop looked solid the other two nights. He went 3-for-5 on Saturday night and was one of the only three players to get a hit in the season opener. 

Strikeouts, Strikeouts, Strikeouts: Detroit struck out 46 times over the course of three games. I don't think I need to say much more other than "that's very, very not good." They found a way to win two of three games (the one loss was the game they struck out the least), but even considering Cincinnati's top-tier pitching, you'd hope the lineup looked less silly out there. Speaking of looking silly...

More Like Miguel Cab-where-a, as in, where the heck is this guy's bat, am I right?: Expecting too much out of a 37-year-old pure-DH with an injury history like Miguel Cabrera is probably foolish, but reports going into the season focused on how slim and healthy Miggy was looking. The future Hall of Famer was largely a non-issue in this opening series. Cabrera did hit a clutch home run in Saturday's game, but that didn't prevent him from earning the Golden Sombrero for striking out in his other four at bats. That homer does prove that Miggy can still be a threat, but I was really hoping to see him on base a couple more times in this series.

Jonesing for JaCoby: If C.J. Cron didn't look so stellar in these first few games, JaCoby Jones would be the team's MVP so far. He hit a go-ahead two-run homer in the ninth inning on Saturday, and he's made some really nifty catches in center field. 

Pitching: Ask Again Later: Matthew Boyd had a wild start to his season. He hit two of the first four batters he faced, and walked another. Batters earned four runs against him including a home run, and he only recorded two strikeouts. He seemed to lack control on a lot of his pitches. I hope it was just jitters for his first Opening Day start, because he did not look like the guy he was last season.

Ivan Nova made his Tigers debut and also had a shaky start through five innings. He's a pitch-to-contact guy so his two-strikeouts aren't as alarming as Boyd's, but two of the three batters who got hits off of Nova hit home runs. Nova also walked four batters. Absolutely not what you want to see.

Spencer Turnbull, after posting a 3-17 record (pitcher wins are a terrible stat, but still) and 4.61 ERA last season, easily had the best outing of any Tigers starter. He only allowed three hits and one run while doling out 8 strikeouts. He still walked batters four times, but Turnbull looked like he had a lot more confidence out there than the other two starters. After such a shaky 2019, could Spencer... Turnbull it around this year? We'd love to see it, folks.

In the bullpen, setup man Buck Farmer has looked nice in his two innings of work. Closer Joe Jiminez has two saves, but he came close to a disastrous outing on Sunday after giving up two hits, a run and beaning a batter in the ninth. Gregory Soto has looked like the team's best reliever in 2.2 innings, only putting one batter on base (via hit by pitch) while striking out five. He's one of many Tigers that would like to put last year behind him, and he's off to a very nice start. 

Ask Again Later: Like most Tigers batters, I'd like to see more out of leadoff man Niko Goodrum. He's gotten on base more than some of the guys in the lineup but hasn't really flashed much. Goodrum has looked really solid at shortstop so far, though.

Christin Stewart has been completely invisible. He's been walked twice, but otherwise has gone 0-for-7 with 6 strikeouts in three starts. Cameron Maybin in his two starts has gone 0-for-6 with 3 strikeouts. Jeimer Candelario went 0-for-7 with 3 strikeouts in his two starts.

Getting any sort of read after only three games is a fool's errand, and it seems especially so with this Tigers squad. Detroit has had mediocre-at-best pitching from its starters, and a good chunk of the lineup has flat-out stunk.

And yet, despite playing a Reds team with lethal pitching that looked really good going into the season, the Tigers leave the weekend with two wins by some divine providence. That's probably more proof that anything can happen in baseball than the team actually being any good, but wins are still wins.

To keep those wins going, the Tigers are probably going to have to score runs with better at bats. Detroit's two wins are largely the result of clutch home runs than anything else. Only the White Sox and Twins hit more dingers over the weekend. Meanwhile, the Tigers have struck out more than anyone else and are posting the third-worst OBP in the league through three games. Unfortunately, their rate of striking out is probably more sustainable for them than home runs. I could always be wrong about that, of course. Even in a shortened season, three games is extremely difficult to gauge anything about a team. If anything, I'm interested in seeing how Detroit responds to having its first winning record in quite some time, if it even has an opportunity to respond.

Lions Roster Prediction: 7/21/20 Edition

this is not a good example of social distancing [Daniel Mears/Detroit News]

Well, howdy there. It's been a couple months. A whole lot of stuff has happened since I last posted here, in the halcyon days of The Bachelor Presents: Listen To Your Heart. I've had some personal stuff happening, and so I've been focusing on getting those things in order, largely.

But I've got the bug to write again, and sports are coming back. Golf and NASCAR have been back for months. The Tigers play an exhibition game tonight, and then baseball as a whole starts up later this week. Basketball comes back next week in bubble form, and I believe the NHL starts the week after that. So let's talk about some sports!

I did a roster review of the Lions right after the draft where I tried to predict who was going to make the team. Not much about the roster has changed, but the approach of the NFL going into the season sure has. It's looking like there might not even be preseason games played. There were talks about potentially only having 80-man rosters for camp instead of the normal 90.

Those potential actions work in the context of limiting the spread of COVID, which is still very much a threat to the season, but they probably suck for a lot of players. This was already a difficult offseason for journeyman-type players, late-round draft picks and UDFAs, as they largely haven't been able to work out for teams. They're already at a disadvantage trying to compete against established players, and this whole situation hasn't helped anything.

So, I think with that in mind, teams will be even more likely to go with bubble players who already have experience in the system. Let's look at the roster. Just like last time, locks are bolded, bubble players are italicized, and longshots are in normal text.

Quarterback

1. Matthew Stafford

2. Chase Daniel

3. David Blough

This hasn't changed since last time. Stafford is your franchise quarterback. Chase Daniel is a backup that got signed for too much money to be cut. The thing that changes is that I could see Blough's roster chances improving as a guy who's been in Darrell Bevell's system for a year already. Daniel's still the backup and shouldn't have much issue learning the offense considering he's been around the block a few times. But another quarterback in the film room and putting in reps on the second/third teams to help the newcomers transition into the offense is a valuable asset.

Running Back

1. D'Andre Swift

2. Kerryon Johnson

3. Jason Huntley

4. Bo Scarbrough

5. Ty Johnson

6. Nick Bawden

7. Luke Sellers

8. Wes Hills

I think Scarbrough and Johnson have a bit more of an edge to make the team with their experience, as Huntley wasn't able to get acquainted with the offense in rookie camp or OTAs. I still think he's a relative lock and the team wouldn't have drafted him if they didn't really like what he brings to the table. I do think Sellers is going to have a lot more ground to cover if he wants to become a bubble player now. Bawden's been hurt two seasons in a row, but he's got experience and proven special teams value.

Wide Receiver

1. Kenny Golladay

2. Marvin Jones

3. Danny Amendola

4. Quintez Cephus

5. Marvin Hall

6. Chris Lacy

7. Jamal Agnew

8. Geronimo Allison

9. Travis Fulgham

10. Tom Kennedy

11. Geremy Davis

12. Victor Boldin

I no longer have Cephus as a lock, though I still think he'll probably be WR4 going into the season. They might want to go with somebody like Hall or Allison who have more experience and stash Cephus on the practice squad while he builds rapport with the QBs and learns behind the vets. Agnew throws a bit of a wrench in things. He's got an upward climb proving himself in the receivers room after transitioning from cornerback this offseason, but he's a former Pro Bowl returner. That special teams value might be all he needs to keep his spot on the team.

Tight End

1. T.J. Hockenson

2. Jesse James

3. Isaac Nauta

4. Hunter Bryant

5. Matt Sokol

Nothing has changed here. This group falls off a cliff after Hock, but they pay way too much money to James to cut him. Nauta and Bryant will fight for TE3/HB roles. Sokol is a longshot.

Offensive Line

1. Frank Ragnow

2. Taylor Decker

3. Halapoulivati Vaitai

4. Joe Dahl

5. Kenny Wiggins

6. Jonah Jackson

7. Logan Stenberg

8. Tyrell Crosby

9. Oday Aboushi

10. Beau Benzschawel

11. Dan Skipper

12. Josh Garnett

13. Matt Nelson

14. Caleb Benenoch

15. Russell Bodine

The locks and bubble players haven't really changed here, but the potential depth chart has. In a normal offseason, I'd probably pencil Jonah Jackson in at one of the starting guard spots. I don't think that's necessarily the case anymore. You shouldn't count him out, but for the time being I think Patricia and Bevell might want to go with some continuity from last year while the rookies adapt to pro ball. The offensive line reserve positions are basically an open tryout if you ask me, but I think Aboushi's experience is really valuable for his chances.

Defensive Line

1. Trey Flowers

2. Danny Shelton

3. Julian Okwara

4. Nick Williams

5. Da'Shawn Hand

6. Romeo Okwara

7. Austin Bryant

8. John Atkins

9. John Penisini

10. Jashon Cornell

11. Kevin Strong

12. Jonathan Wynn

13. Frank Herron

14. Olive Sagapolu

Rookies not being able to do rookie training camp and OTAs probably affects John Penisini's chances at starting the year on the roster more than any other player. It was already going to be a tight race between him and John Atkins for the backup nose tackle spot. Atkins struggled last season, but the coaches really seem to like him and he has experience. I think Penisini still finds himself on the main roster by the end of the season, but he starts on the practice squad now. I moved Bryant to the bubble from a lock. I still think he ends up on the team because the Lions don't want to give up on him yet, but he's probably less safe than other guys.

I thought the Lions might make more moves here, but they didn't. Not a lot of people have been making a ton of moves in the NFL anyway. So. *shrug*

Linebacker

1. Jamie Collins

2. Jahlani Tavai

3. Christian Jones

4. Jarrad Davis

5. Reggie Ragland

6. Jalen Reeves-Maybin

7. Miles Killebrew

8. Elijah Lee

9. Anthony Pittman

10. Jason Cabinda

11. Christian Sam

Last time around, I struggled to call Jarrad Davis a lock and thought he may even be a surprise cut. Even though Detroit didn't pick up his fifth-year option, I think he's probably in better standing now. With so much of this offseason being off-the-field, that's probably allowed Davis to endear himself even more to the coaching staff in any online meetings, since his attitude, knowledge and work ethic have always been praised. Not being on the field also hurts Lee and Ragland's chances. Reeves-Maybin and Killebrew (moved here from defensive backs even though for some reason he's still listed by the Lions as a safety after several years) have proven special teams value which may make it even more of an uphill climb for the free agent signings.

Defensive Backs

1. Tracy Walker

2. Jeff Okudah

3. Desmond Trufant

4. Duron Harmon

5. Will Harris

6. Amani Oruwariye

7. Justin Coleman

8. Jayron Kearse

9. C.J. Moore

10. Tony McRae

11. Mike Ford

12. Dee Virgin

13. Darryl Roberts

14. Mike Jackson

15. Jeremiah Dinson

16. Jalen Elliott

17. Bobby Price

Locks haven't changed. Okudah is the one exception as far as not penciling rookies into starting roles yet, because he's absolutely without a doubt needed there. Agnew's move to wide receiver makes things a lot more interesting for the depth spots in this position group. Most of these guys are still competing with Agnew in the sense that special teams value is going to decide these roster spots, but they also will have more opportunities to impress the coaches in position drills and in scrimmages with one less person at their position.

Special Teams

1. Matt Prater

2. Don Muhlbach

3. Arryn Siposs

4. Jack Fox

5. Steven Wirtel

Nothing's changed except that the shorter offseason has probably secured Don Muhlbach's reign as longsnapper even more. Punter battle is still open.

My Day 1 53-Man Roster Prediction

QB (3): Stafford, Daniel Blough

RB/FB (5): Swift, K. Johnson, Huntley, Scarbrough, Bawden (PS: T. Johnson)

WR (5): Golladay, Jones, Amendola, Cephus, Hall (PS: Fulgham)

TE (3): Hockenson, James, Nauta (PS: Bryant)

OL (9): Ragnow, Decker, Vaitai, Dahl, Wiggins, Jackson, Stenberg, Crosby, Aboushi (PS: Benzschawel, Nelson)

DL (8): Flowers, Shelton, J. Okwara, Hand, Williams, R. Okwara, Bryant, Atkins (PS: Penisini, Cornell)

LB (6): Collins, Tavai, Jones, Davis, Reeves-Maybin, Killebrew (PS: Pittman)

DB (11): Walker, Okudah, Trufant, Harmon, Oruwariye, Harris, Coleman, Kearse, Moore, McRae, Ford (PS: Jackson, Dinson, Elliott)

ST (3): Prater, Siposs, Muhlbach (PS: Fox)

Overall, not a whole lot has changed on my thoughts. Last time I already had Agnew as a surprise cut, and his positional move didn't help his argument here. I put Bawden on the roster assuming he stays healthy throughout camp, and I now have Nauta on the team instead of Bryant. The main shake-up was in the linebacker room, where I have Killebrew and Reeves-Maybin instead of Ragland and Lee.

Practice squad predictions stayed the same outside of flipping Nauta/Bryant and keeping an extra defensive back instead of a fullback.

Hopefully we'll get some good info now that the teams should be going to camp soon. Naturally, if the NFL and the Players Association can't come up with an agreement before camp, that makes it even more of a struggle for some of these players to impress coaches.

The Bachelor Presents: Listen To Your Heart Goes Back To Being The Villain

The Worst

In the first week of The Bachelor Presents: Listen To Your Heart, I figured Matt was going to be one of the villains of the series. He notoriously sat down with both Mel and Rudi about going on dates, made Rudi really excited to think that she was going on a date with him, and then proceeded to go on a disastrous date with Mel. The Plain White T's were involved. It was terrible.

Rudi was pissed off, naturally, and so she badmouthed Matt the entire night. When it came time for roses to be given out, both Rudi and Mel went with other guys. Matt only made it to week two because of Cheyenne, a person who was never remotely relevant on the show outside of that moment.

The next week with the guys handing out the roses, Rudi was panicking about trying to stay alive, so she went back to Matt. They ended up being a solid pairing for the most part, despite the early rockiness. They were one of the more talented couples on the show, even though most of that talent was Rudi's. They probably could've gone the distance.

But when Brandon and Julia beautifully fizzled out, we needed a new villain. Natascha seemed primed to take that role as the house's native gossip, but she really didn't do anything after her "sabotage" of Brandon/Julia. And with nobody else's business to meddle with, her actual couple with Ryan was boring, at least until Ryan decided to make an Ed Sheeran ballad sexy and got them kicked off.

Luckily, Matt became the villain. After a romantic date with Rudi that featured Shaggy, Rudi said she loved him. Matt told her, "thank you." Despite that, they proceeded to absolutely slay their rendition of "Shallow." The entire show was based heavily on the first hour of A Star Is Born (and not a minute after that). The producers didn't hand that song out lightly. They knew they were setting Rudi and Matt up for success. So after sending Ryan and Natascha home, the couple made their way to Nashville, hoping that the two of them would get on the same level emotionally that they are musically.

Except this week, Matt stood brooding in a hotel for an entire day while Rudi cried in bed, and then Matt told her to pack her bags because it's not working. Rudi is of course pissed at him again, because if he wanted to end things, he could've ended them in Vegas. For him to wait until after they got to Nashville and got their assignments for their final performance, right before they could've gone on a date with a fantasy suite ending? That's a dick move. Brandon and Julia were distractions. Matt was always the villain.

But the villain of the show leaving halfway through the finale, he takes most of the remaining drama of the show with him. The other two couples are boring. Chris and Bri have been rock solid since their fateful night in a Guitar Center. Trevor and Jamie have a newfound confidence since they said they were falling for each other.

The show tries to make some drama out of the dates. Chris and Bri decide to forgo the fantasy suite. Trevor and Jamie do the deed. The question for the rest of the night is, "should Chris and Bri have done it?" Even though both of them were on the same page about waiting a bit and not wanting to rush things physically while they're still in the process of getting to know each other emotionally, because both of them have made that mistake before.

But we still get video of Chris and Bri sitting in silence on car rides back-to-back with clips of Trevor and Jamie feeding each other breakfast. We see video of a rehearsal where Chris and Bri aren't really vibing with the musicians.

Then the performances happen, and Chris and Bri win it because with Rudi gone they're the better couple both chemistry-wise and musically. There was really no drama there after all. Chris and Bri get to record an album with a big-name producer (who is never actually named) and go on a tour (except this was filmed a month before everything shut down and now nobody knows when concerts can happen again).

The right couple won, but in the most boring way possible. At the end of the day, it was just an American Idol clone with a slight twist. Which is fun! I loved the first few weeks of this show where we got Michael Todd and Julia/Brandon leaving a trail of eliminated contestants in their wake. It was a great time. But once all of the worst musicians and most villainous personalities were off the show, it suffered. Maybe if we got a little more time with the couples it would've worked better. Having so many people quit the show throughout the process made for good television in the moment, but it probably shortened the entire show by a week or two.

I'd be interested in watching another season of this. It's an interesting enough concept, and I did really have fun with it, but I hope things can maybe stay as spicy down the stretch as it was for the first few weeks of the show. Right now, it's just not quite on the level of regular Bachelor or Bachelorette, or even Bachelor in Paradise. At least we'll always have Guitar Center

The Bachelor Presents: Listen To Your Heart Thanks You For Speaking Your Truth

The song you want to hear before she says "I love you"

This week's episode of The Bachelor Presents: Listen To Your Heart was a lot weaker than episodes past. That's probably to be expected. The Julia-Brandon storyline was what was propelling the drama for the past few weeks, and now they're both gone. We have to find new drama.

The preview of this week's episode showed Chris and Bri in a wedding chapel, Natascha being accused of being manipulative, and the other couples worrying about when to say "I love you."

Two of those were bait-and-switches. Chris and Bri merely sang for another couple getting married in Vegas. Jamie said she didn't like how Natascha handled last week's Julia situation, but it doesn't actually become an issue. A potential wedding or Natascha manipulation would be very entertaining, so I understand the bait-and-switch. The tension of the couples saying "I love you" is much less so.

There is some pressure. Chris and Bri said those words for the first time last week on stage, so they've got it all out of the way. They've been seemingly more comfortable with each other than any other couple, and this makes them even more comfortable.

Everyone is now going on dates. Natascha and Ryan go... to a construction site? It wasn't shown much, and I was in the bathroom, so I'm not sure exactly what happened. It didn't seem important enough to rewind. I don't think they had any drama about admitting their love, because I don't think either of them were actually at that point where they were ready to say it in general. Chris and Bri had their date performing for the couple.

The rest of the episode is focused on two dates, which have opposite results. Trevor and Jamie have a successful date at the ice skating rink, where they talk about their feelings. Jamie is ready to say that she loves him, while Trevor gives a speech about how he thinks those words are sacred. He takes them seriously. Then he admits to Jamie he's falling in love with her as well. They make out. Afterwards, Jamie has a newfound confidence that's completely taken over the anxious energy she's had since the musical portion of this show started.

Then there's Rudi and Matt. On their way from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, they actually spend a night at a weird hotel in the middle of nowhere, because apparently they weren't "ready enough" for the next step, and this got them there. Weird. They go on the most romantic date on the show so far: A Shaggy concert. They get to go up and perform "It Wasn't Me" with Shaggy. You might think that an anthem about cheating on somebody is a little weird, but I think it's potentially magical. "It Wasn't Me" is a fantastic song, and having the opportunity to sing it onstage with Shaggy should be everybody's dream.

Rudi clearly agrees, because she admits to Matt that she's falling in love with him afterwards. Matt responds, "Thank you for speaking your truth." Man, that's rough. That has to be one of the most brutal responses to "I love you" that anybody can give. The couple already seemed like they were in rough shape, and now there's a one-sided "I love you" making things even more tense. The rest of the episode is padded with a teary-eyed Rudi anxious about everything.

When it's time for performances, things gel a lot more for almost everybody. The judges this week: Pat Monahan from Train, Ashlee Simpson and her husband Evan Ross (Diana Ross' son), and another Bachelor couple that I cannot remember. Nobody here on the level of a Kesha or Toni Braxton, probably because they spent most of the budget on a real star like Shaggy.

Any tension between Matt and Rudi goes away when they sing together, and they kill it. Newly confident Jamie and Trevor do a pretty good job themselves. They're clearly safe.

Bri and Chris do hit a bit of a snag. Chris is a little bit shaky at the start of "Can't Help Falling in Love," but they make it out fine.

The only bad performance happens with Natascha and Ryan. The first week of competition had Natascha (probably the most talented singer of anyone) completely overpowering Ryan. The second week they hit a balance. Now it's Ryan's turn to take things over, because he wants to "reinvent" Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" for their performance. Instead of doing a straight-up normal duet, he turns it into some weird guitar jam. He's said on multiple occasions he idolizes John Mayer, so I think he was going for something like that. It didn't work. Natascha hands him a mic while he's playing guitar, because apparently she forgot that people need two hands to play guitar. She also forgets the words. It's awkward.

Things probably would've been fine if they just did a straight-up cover of the song. These are two very talented people. Every successful couple has gone on because they've done very no-frills covers of the songs, and looked into each other's eyes while they perform them. Ryan trying to make the song sexier crashed and burned. It's not as bad on the ears as Brandon trying to turn classic rock songs into weird country abominations where he makes weird faces, but watching the performance is just as awkward.

The rose ceremony is one of the least tense elimination ceremonies I've ever seen. They try to make it seem like Chris and Bri are on the chopping block, but shakiness from Chris isn't nearly as bad as whatever it was Ryan and Natascha did. They go home, and it makes a lot of sense. Despite Rudi and Matt's struggles with saying "I love you," Ryan and Natascha seemed to lack the seriousness that Chris Harrison has been harping on. They seem like they like each other, but they're mostly having fun and maybe making out a bit as they go along. That's not what this show wants. Natascha stirs the pot with other contestants, but her actual relationship doesn't have the drama that producers want. The horrendous performance here gave those producers a good excuse to kick them.

Next week is the finale, and I hope it's a bit more exciting than this relatively tame, predictable episode. Though at least we got Shaggy.

Things I Enjoyed Last Week: 5/4/20-5/11/20

Florian Schneider, 1947-2020

I took last week off mostly because I was having a pretty bad week overall. I am once again ready to enjoy things.

Music Thing I Enjoyed: Hayley Williams - Petals for Armor: The Paramore frontwoman's long-awaited solo debut finally came out last weekend. More accurately, the album fully came out, as Williams has been releasing it in chunks since February. There's been a slow trickle of songs being released. Part one came out in February, and part two came out in March. I largely avoided listening to the singles because I enjoy listening to albums in full. I thought it paid off really well. I've never been the biggest Paramore fan, but I have enjoyed their forays into more straight-up pop music, and Williams' solo album feels like a really natural progression from that, with a bit more of an "artsy" filter. I think the last third of the album where things get a little more straight-up dancy is my favorite, but the entire thing is worth a listen. Here's "Sugar on the Rim."

Alcoholic Thing I Enjoyed: Experimenting With Bloody Marys: Last Tuesday my friend and I did "brunch" from our respective houses as we watched The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart. Naturally I wanted the ultimate brunch drink, the Bloody Mary. I usually don't make my own mix, which usually isn't a problem. There are plenty of decent mixes available. Unfortunately, the only mix left on store shelves when I ventured out was Mr. & Mrs. T's Original Bloody Mary Mix, which sucks on its own. It's not nearly spicy enough on its own. It's honestly more sweet than spicy, which is an issue. That's not how anybody should be drinking a Bloody Mary. So I had to get creative. Once I got a good blend of additives going - extra celery salt, Worcestershire sauce, chili garlic Cholula sauce, black pepper, cayenne pepper, a little bit of Old Bay - it was very solid. In the long run, I spent too much time dressing this up where it would've been a lot easier to do my own mix. Still, finding the right blend of spices and flavors was fun.

Non-Alcoholic Thing I Enjoyed: Pineapple Orange Mango Mountain Dew Kickstart: I stocked up on these last week. This was my caffeinated beverage of choice to get me through college, and it has been helping me get through *coronavirus advertisement voice* these unprecedented times.

Movie Thing I Enjoyed: Den of Thieves: 50 Cent and his band of thieves grilling his daughter's prom date is the best "action movie dad intimidates teen daughter's date" since Bad Boys II. Also the movie as a whole is very good. It might legitimately be Gerard Butler's best role (though that's honestly not saying much). Really fun heist movie. Predictable as hell, but it hits its notes really well.

Music Thing I Enjoyed: Kraftwerk: Kraftwerk co-founder Florian Schneider's death in late April was made known to press this past week. Kraftwerk is easily one of the most influential musical acts of all time. Their fingerprints are all over electronic, rock, pop, dance, and rap music. I spent a good chunk of this last week revisiting some of their albums for the first time in ages. Here's the title track from Trans Europa Express.

The Bachelor Presents: Listen To Your Heart Reaps What It Sows

The faces of evil

For the past few weeks, The Bachelor Presents: Listen To Your Heart has been focused largely on Julia and Brandon's reign of terror. Early on in the show, they seemed like the hottest commodities as potential mates, with them seemingly having to choose between three or four people rather than just one or two. They also had an attraction themselves. Despite Julia eventually pairing up with Sheridan and Brandon pairing up with Savannah, they still seemed very into each other. Last week Julia seemed more focused on what Brandon was doing with Savannah, and whether they were there for the "right reasons" than she was on her relationship with Sheridan, while Brandon continued telling Julia that they could figure this whole thing out. They don't seem like great people!

This week, The Bachelor producers capitalize on that unfortunate situation even further. The sadistic bastard Chris Harrison comes into the house and announces that this week, the relationships between the remaining couples will be put to the test as they will go on dates with people from other couples. This is under the guise that the producers are making sure only the most serious couples remain, but it's clearly them pushing Julia and Brandon together even more so that this whole thing can blow up.

You can tell just by the dates that they don't really care about anybody other than Julia and Brandon here. Rudi and Chris's date is a picnic like twenty feet from the mansion. Jamie and Ryan do have history as they were the first-ever date on the show, and Jamie had to choose between Ryan and Trevor at the end of that episode. They go on a spa date, which could be a bit more romantic, but they seem cool just being friends and getting to know each other that way.
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Meanwhile, Julia and Brandon go to the iconic Roxy club on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles, where they are told to write a song together and perform it, with the help of a professional songwriter. That's a lot more intimate! Julia says in interviews that it would be stupid not to treat this like an actual romantic date and explore her feeling for Brandon, even though last week she was constantly saying that Brandon was a jerk who wasn't here for the right reasons. Shock or all shocks, they kiss. Brandon continues to say that they can figure things out. Sheridan sits and sulks at the piano in the mansion, talking about how he's a "nice guy" and girls don't like "nice guys."

When they get back to the mansion, Julia immediately sits Sheridan down, telling him that she is going to explore things with Brandon. Sheridan basically says "I hope you find happiness" and gets up to leave. Julia is upset by this, for some reason. I don't know if she wanted Sheridan to fight for her more strongly, but that's basically what Sheridan's been doing since he laid eyes on Julia. The fact that she's going back to Brandon and getting upset at Sheridan is wild.

Brandon actually hasn't chosen Julia, though. He sits down with Savannah, and says that they can make this work (take a drink). Savannah says she doesn't want to be Brandon's second choice, or even a choice. This is where you see Brandon truly become a garbage person, as he tries putting the blame on Savannah. He says he is choosing Savannah, and that Savannah isn't being an adult about this, even though it's clear that the entire issue is that Savannah doesn't trust Brandon at all. So Savannah leaves right after Sheridan.

So Brandon and Julia are finally together, and they are to perform "We Belong Together" by Pat Benatar at the next set of performances, because the producers know how to pick them. Brandon seems to hate the song and has hardly even heard it. He seems frustrated by this fact. Julia thinks it's perfect for them. This will surely end well.

While talking with Ryan and Natascha about performances, Natascha asks Brandon if he would've chosen Savannah if she hadn't quit. With Julia in the room (she is covering her eyes and ears), Brandon says yes. Before the performances the next night, Natascha tells Julia what Brandon said. Natascha gets pissed because she thinks Natascha is trying to sabotage her. Real musicians would never sabotage other musicians before a performance (the history of musicians' personal lives and pettiness says otherwise).

Natascha is definitely trying to stir the pot, but this could've been avoided if Brandon hadn't admitted that he would've chosen Savannah to the person in the house that loves to gossip the most. It's also on Julia for leaving Sheridan for a guy she had no idea would pick her. It's also on Brandon for being a bad, manipulative person.

The performances happen with new judges. There's another Bachelor couple and Andy Grammer, but Toni Braxton is the big name they busted out. Toni Braxton seems to be having a lot of fun judging people on both musical talent and romantic chemistry. She keeps telling contestants that she wants them to make everything sexier to the point where she gets uncomfortable. It's great.

Chris and Bri continue to feel like the most authentic actual couple on this show, and they crush their performance of Taylor Swift's "Lover." I feel like Natascha and Ryan are still a bit unbalanced with how much Natascha takes over their songs together, but this one was better. Rudi and Matt do a pretty solid version of "Tennessee Whiskey" by Chris Stapleton. The two other performances are rougher.

Jamie and Trevor perform, with Trevor assuring Jamie beforehand that she just needs to look at him, and the nerves will go away. Jamie seems shaky for the first chunk of the song, and by the end seems like she's really trying to overcompensate in showing the connection even if her performance gets stronger. Trevor just doesn't really seem that sturdy as a partner this time around, and it seems that he kind of leaves Jamie to drown. The judges note the nerves, and say as much about Trevor's performance. However, Jamie takes this as a slight on her, breaking down and repeatedly saying she screwed up when she's offstage.

Julia and Brandon, only a few days officially coupled together, now have to convince this audience that they belong together. They do not. There's a distinct lack of chemistry. Even when Julia was more focused on Brandon and Savannah over what she was doing with Sheridan, her natural chemistry with Sheridan was much better than her chemistry with Brandon. I think a big part of that is that Brandon has no charisma and cannot sing. He's the dirt worst at everything, and he thinks singing is making weird faces and grunts into a microphone. There's a reason he's been on the cutting room floor two weeks in a row now.

They have the rose ceremony right away in the venue after the crowd leaves. They play it up like Trevor and Jamie could go home, but it's not enough. Brandon and Savannah are clearly the worst couple. They must reap what they've sowed. They damaged their existing couples as much as they could to force the other person to leave, and now their couple of destiny has drowned immediately. They played themselves. Julia leaves, blaming Savannah for sabotaging her and Brandon for not holding up his part of the performance, because Julia has done nothing wrong in her time there. She does say that maybe she would've been better off with Sheridan, but it's clear she still wants to deflect all of her own choices on other people.

That leaves Chris and Bri, Jamie and Trevor, Ryan and Natascha, and Rudi and Matt. I think Chris and Bri have to be the frontrunners to actually win this, because they have the most natural chemistry and are pretty good at performing music. The preview for next week suggests they might elope in Vegas, which is wild. From previews it seems that Natascha is going to take on her natural role as the villain now that Julia and Brandon are gone. It works. Natascha's a seasoned veteran of reality television. She should be a perfect foil for everybody else.

Evaluating the Lions' Positional Groups: 4/29/20 Edition

Will Matthew Stafford make the Detroit Lions roster in 2020????? [DetroitLions.com]

Now that the Lions have their rookie class all lined up, I thought I'd look at their roster at each positional group as it stands. The players I end up bolding are players that I think are absolute locks to make the roster right now. The ones in italics have shots to make the roster but might have to battle with each other or prove something in the preseason, so even guys I think might have a 75% chance at making the team may be italicized. The ones in regular print are probably on the outside looking in at the moment.

This could all change. I don't think the Lions are necessarily done with signings. They have the second-most cap room in the NFL right now. Some of that will go to signing the rookie class, and some of it will be used for potentially extending players like Kenny Golladay and Taylor Decker.

Even after those things are done, the Lions will probably still have some cushion to make some signings. We probably won't see those kinds of signings until later in the offseason when it's more possible for free agents to do workouts with teams or get physicals.

Here's where we stand:

Quarterback

1. Matthew Stafford

2. Chase Daniel

3. David Blough

This is the easiest positional group to predict. Stafford is QB1. The Lions used a decent chunk of change to sign Chase Daniel at QB2 a year after Stafford got hurt. The question is going to be if the Lions want to use a third roster spot on Blough. History says yes, especially after a season where the top two quarterbacks on the roster dealt with injury. Still, I wouldn't say he's quite a lock.

Running Back/Fullback

1. D'Andre Swift

2. Kerryon Johnson

3. Jason Huntley

4. Bo Scarbrough

5. Ty Johnson

6. Nick Bawden

7. Luke Sellers

8. Wes Hills

The draft drastically changed how the running back room looks. There are people thinking Johnson might be on the chopping block as well, but I don't see that right now unless the Lions want a more veteran running back on the roster (a move that hasn't worked well the past two seasons). I think the Lions only keep four running backs on the roster, which means the main competition is Scarbrough vs. Ty Johnson. Johnson might be redundant considering the team just drafted Huntley, a lightning-fast receiver with special teams value that the team can run gimmick plays with. But Johnson was the team's iron man at running back last year (not a difficult feat), and Scarbrough has a long history of injuries.

The Lions might also carry a fullback. I'd say Bawden still has the advantage over UDFA Luke Sellers, but it might not be by much. Bawden has gone on IR both seasons, so Detroit might be looking for somebody new in the position. If the Lions like one of their depth tight ends as a fullback/h-back instead, neither guy may make the team.

The Bachelor Presents: Listen To Your Heart Is Here For The Right Reasons

this is the dude that women are fighting over on this show

The Bachelor Presents: Listen To Your Heart has been advertised as a hybrid between the traditional Bachelor franchise dating show and an American Idol-style singing competition. For the first two weeks of its existence, it's mostly been the Bachelor-style drama. This week, we finally get to see what Bachelor Nation's idea of a singing competition looks like. Turns out it's basically just American Idol!

The show's runtime is basically divided between an hour of drama and an hour of competition. The hour of drama was obviously much more entertaining.

Jumping off of last week's cliffhanger, Brandon still wants to "figure things out" with Julia after giving Savannah his rose last week (favoring her over like four other girls). Meanwhile, Sheridan is still focused on only Julia while Julia is an emotional wreck about the whole situation. Julia says that she just wants to move on but she is very clearly focused on Brandon and Savannah over everything else going on, seemingly even rehearsals with Sheridan.

Throwing a wrench into the ordeal is the lovable bastard Chris Harrison, who announces that only serious couples should continue participating on the show. This freaks Gabe out, because he chose Ruby last week to further explore something, but didn't feel serious about her. He feels more serious about Savannah. So he basically tells Savannah that he's going home unless she picks him over Brandon. This causes Savannah to become an emotional wreck for a good while, but she of course chooses Brandon.

After the choice, Savannah and Brandon seem a lot more lovey-dovey with each other through the house, much to the dismay of Julia. Julia thinks this sudden upturn in PDA means that they're just pretending that they're serious about each other, and they're just pretending to be into each other to continue being on the show. They're not here for the Right Reasons. They're here for fame. In the Bachelor universe, being there for the Wrong Reasons is the worst thing you can possibly be. Julia won't shut up about it throughout the next hour. She talks to the camera about it. She talks to the other housemates about it. Eventually Savannah tells her that it's not her place and to chill out, which she does not do.

Julia does have a point. Brandon seems like he really sucks. Choosing Savannah but continuing to tell Julia that they can figure things out is a scumbag move. But the entire process makes it seem that Julia is still way more into Brandon than Sheridan, who is her actual duet/potential love partner. It's all very messy. I'm sure it's going to get much worse, and I look forward to it.

There are two dates this week, and they do seem a little bit more inspired than last week's Guitar Center debacle. Bekah and Danny, the boring couple that cause no drama and are therefore never onscreen, go on a shopping spree with a Hollywood stylist! Neat, I guess!

Natascha and Ryan go meet country star Chris Lane, who is married to former Bachelor winner Lauren Busnell (Chris Lane was not the Bachelor in that particular season of The Bachelor). The couple pretend to know that they actually know who Chris Lane is and enjoy the concert.

Then it's time for the singing competition portion of the show, which is far less interesting even if it involves Kesha. She's one of the judges for this segment along with Jason Mraz and Bachelorette couple JoJo Fletcher and Jordan Rodgers. They say they're judging them musically, but it's mostly about the "connection." So eye contact, body language, all that good stuff are being judged. Some do better than others.

Natascha absolutely slays Rihanna's portion of "Stay," but overshadows Ryan even though there seems to be a connection there. Chris and Bri continue to be cute, and they work well together as musicians. Jamie is extremely nervous before the performance but is downright giddy after she and Trevor do a fine job. Everybody's mostly fine.

The edits of the first few episodes that previewed this portion of the competition have teased couples that don't seem that into each other, or are extremely one-sided. Those clips have usually been accompanied by images of Julia and Sheridan. That was a classic Bachelor bait-and-switch, though. There are two couples that had issues.

The first is, shockingly, Bekah and Danny. Bekah and Danny do an abysmal rendition of The Lumineers' "Ho Hey." Danny goes in for a kiss, awwww. He goes in for another one, and Bekah curves him. Not great! The judges say they seem more like very good friends than an actual couple.

Meanwhile, Savannah and Brandon do a chemistry-less, very very bad performance of Cheap Trick's "I Want You To Want Me." Brandon shows that his voices is utter garbage, and he makes very ridiculous faces while he sings. The judges say it feels like they're just getting to know each other, much to Julia's delight.

The rose ceremony happens with the judges picking who goes home. Naturally, the two couples who had the most problems are the ones that are on the chopping block. I'd say Savannah/Brandon had the worst performance of anybody, but because this is The Bachelor and they provide the most drama, they stay. Bekah and Danny were consistently referred to as one of the stronger couples on the show in the first two episodes, despite hardly being shown at all. They were not long for this world.

Previews of future episodes make it certainly seem like this whole Sheridan/Julia/Brandon/Savannah thing isn't going away soon. I originally pegged Matt as the villain of this season of reality television, but so far Brandon's running away with it. Not to say Julia is innocent in this either.

Postmortem:

- Ruby, who got the short end of the stick in all the episode-starting drama. I think she had two lines on the show, which is still better than Leather Jacket Guy and Hot Mr. Clean from episode one.

- Gabe, who doesn't watch enough reality television to know that "if you're not serious about this, go home" is a bluff by Chris Harrison and he is a fool for buying into it.

- Bekah and Danny, who are now going from two minutes of screen time per episode to zero. Big change.