Detroit/Michigan Sports Decade in Review: The Bad

Josh Smith, presumably seconds away from missing a bad-look three-pointer (Allen Einstein, NBA/Getty)

The 2010s have not been kind to fans of Detroit and University of Michigan sports. All four professional teams are ending the decade at or near the bottom of their respective divisions. Michigan football has certainly improved in the latter half of the decade, but finishes the 2010s with no Big Ten titles and only one win over Ohio State. Michigan basketball has fared much better than everyone else, but the future still has plenty uncertainty even as Juwan Howard’s coaching tenure has started with a bang.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the past decade and the endless unfathomable sadness it has brought to my favorite sports teams. So I decided to award the worst of the worst. I will get to the positives at a later date. I will even have categories that talk about hope for the future.

Now is not that time. It is time to wade into the darkness of Detroit and Michigan sports.

Special thanks to my pal Jared for helping me with categories/nominees. We probably still forgot things. Please yell at me about it.

I tried to get some input from Michigan State fans so I could be Fair and Balanced, but they were all too busy anticipating how Mark Dantonio reshuffle his mediocre offensive coaching staff this next season. Sorry.

Worst Contract: Detroit teams have signed players to some absolutely awful contracts. Let’s look back on some of the worst.

• Justin Abdelkader : Signed a $30 million/7 year contract for the Red Wings in 2015 with a no-trade clause until the end of the 2019–20 season.
• Jonathan Ericsson: Signed a $25.5 million/6 year contract for the Red Wings in 2013. He was waived this season, the final year of his contract.
• Ben Gordon: Signed a $55 million/5 year contract for the Pistons in 2009. He and a first-round pick were traded away in 2012 for Corey Maggette.
• Josh Smith: Signed a $54 million/4 year contract for the Pistons in 2013. He was waived in 2014.
• Charlie Villanueva: Signed a $40 million/5 year contract for the Pistons in 2009.

Winner: Josh Smith: The Pistons and Red Wings have easily made the worst deals out of all the teams. The Tigers have overpaid players, but that’s in a sport with no salary cap, with an owner who desperately wanted a championship. The Lions have whiffed on free agents, but nothing as egregious as these options.

Abdelkader and Ericsson were signed to bad contracts as Ken Holland did all he could simply to keep the Wings’ playoff streak alive, but both players have contributed to the team even as their waning talent hasn’t matched their price tag.

Charlie V and Ben Gordon were bad moves that have kept the Pistons in the purgatory of mediocrity that they’ve remained in for the past decade. I considered throwing Reggie Jackson in here as well, but I think he’s contributed more positively than any other Pistons I’ve listed.

Nothing compares to Josh Smith, though. The experiment of playing Smith alongside fellow bigs Andre Drummond and Greg Monroe was doomed from the start. Smith’s shot selection was horrid, and he was quickly waived after only a season and a half. What sets Smith’s contract over the edge is that the team has had to pay it off $5 million at a time for the past half-decade, up through this season.

While the Pistons have been paying him, he bounced around the league for a couple seasons, played in China, played in Israel, briefly returned to the NBA, and then joined Ice Cube’s 3-on-3 league.

i hate them I hate them I HATE THEM (via Packers.com)

Worst Rule/Call To Go Against the Lions (Other Than The Most Obvious One That We’ll Get To Later):

• 9/12/10: “The Calvin Johnson Rule”: The Lions’ would-be go-ahead touchdown against the Bears is ruled incomplete, and nobody has known what a catch is in the NFL ever since. Lions lose 19–14.
• 11/22/12: “The Jim Schwartz Rule”: Justin Forsett is clearly down on an 84-yard run ruled a touchdown. Because Jim Schwartz threw a challenge flag on a scoring play, it could no longer be reviewed and automatically stood. Lions lose 34–31.
• 12/4/15: “The Miracle in Motown”: A phantom facemask is called against the Lions on what would have been the game-clinching tackle. Aaron Rodgers is given an untimed down where he successfully throws a Hail Mary. Lions lose 27–23.
• 9/24/17: The 10-Second Runoff: Matthew Stafford throws go-ahead touchdown to Golden Tate against the Falcons with 10 seconds on the clock. On review, he is ruled short, and because the refs stopped the clock when they called the touchdown and the Lions had no timeouts, there is an automatic 10-second runoff and the Lions don’t have an opportunity for a final snap. They lose 30–26.
• 10/14/19: Hands To The Face: Two illegal hands to the face calls go against Trey Flowers on keep defensive stops. The first keeps a Packers touchdown drive alive. The second allows the Packers to run out the clock and set up a game-winning field goal as time expires. Lions lose 23–22.

Winner: 10-Second Runoff. The batted ball fiasco against the Seahawks deserves (dis)honorable mention.

The 2019 Packers game was heartbreaking in the moment and cost me a bottle of whiskey for a bet, but it happened in what is now officially a dead season. Same goes for the Texans game. It may have ruined Thanksgiving, but a win only makes that team 5–11 on the season.

The Calvin Johnson rule is more notable as it’s a rivalry game AND it’s a play that has loomed over the NFL ever since as the league desperately tries to clarify its catch rules. But again, that play only makes the team 7–9 in a season where Matthew Stafford got hurt anyway.

The Miracle in Motown almost won. A win there would have only made the team 8–8, but it would have secured a sweep against the Packers on the season. Plus, that play has been shown in every Packers-Lions game ever since, and I hate it.

The 10-second runoff is a strange case. If the refs initially call Tate short of the line, there’s a decent chance they don’t line up and snap the ball in time. The team still deserved an opportunity to hurry up and try again, but because the refs didn’t make the correct call, the Lions were punished and lose the game.

I had to go with that play because of the possible alternate dimension it creates. If the Lions beat the Falcons, they finish the season 10–6 and take the Falcons’ Wild Card spot in the playoffs. This potentially saves Jim Caldwell’s job. Matt Patricia is never hired, and the Lions now are mediocre-at-worst instead of being downright awful.

(Daniel Mears, Detroit News)

Worst Narrative: I’ve unfortunately listened to a lot of sports talk radio. The hosts of those programs and the fans that call into such programs have a lot of bad takes! They like to repeat those takes a lot! These also apply to Youtube/Facebook/MLive comments.

• “Fire Leyland”: A lot of people thought that Jim Leyland’s management was one of the primary things keeping the unfairly talented Detroit Tigers of the late 2000s/early 2010s from winning it all.
• “It’s Time To Move On From Stafford”: Matthew Stafford, the greatest quarterback in Lions history, is actually a bum. Heck, Shaun Hill would probably be just as good throwing to Megatron. All Kellen Moore needs is a chance. Let’s put in that Rudock kid from Michigan.
• “Harbaugh Can’t Win Big Games”: Even putting aside his record against Ohio State, Jim Harbaugh just can’t do it, and if you give me an example of one of his wins against a good team or rival, I will tell you why it doesn’t actually count.
• “Calvin Johnson Is An Entitled Baby And Wasn’t Actually That Good”: Calvin Johnson has been vocal about feeling disrespected by the Lions organization after his retirement when asked. Many of the people who side with the Lions in this dispute have convinced themselves that a historic NFL talent a future hall of famer was actually worthless.
• “Sell The Team”: Martha Ford is totally responsible for all of her husband’s acts and doesn’t actually care about the team! She doesn’t know anything about football, and I’m totally not a misogynist.

Winner: Stafford Takes. The Calvin Johnson stuff is silly, but only a few very loud people who REALLY want to defend the Lions taking back money that they weren’t going to use anyway back from Megatron. Most people likely don’t care and just want to see him back as an ambassador for the team.

Leyland takes were quickly disproven when Brad Ausmus took over and the team underperformed even more. “Sell the team” is just misplaced anger because people got sick of blaming everyone else. 

Harbaugh has lost a lot of big games, and you can even say “too many” big games, but he’s also beaten some good teams and most people just cherry-pick what a “big game” is.

But Stafford not being The Guy is one of the most baffling things that I’ve heard not just from Facebook commenters and radio callers. It’s something I’ve heard from average people. Stafford is the best quarterback in Lions history. He’s had years where he would’ve been in MVP contention had he played for a better team. But he’s blamed for not being on a better team. He’s blamed for bad defenses and for dysfunctional running games. He’s blamed for his offensive line not keeping him upright and for poor coaching decisions. “QB wins” as a stat is a plague, and it must be eradicated.

And c’mon, Kellen Moore? Really!?

One man's foot singlehandedly destroyed the Lions' dreams (Getty)

Worst Game: Some games were heartbreaking only in their final moments. But some of them were just all-around unpleasant!

• 10/24/12 — Giants 8, Tigers 3: Justin Verlander only lasts four innings and gives up 5 runs. The Giants continue their hot start and sweep the Tigers in the World Series.
• 12/17/13 — Ravens 18, Lions 16: On Monday Night Football, Justin Tucker kicks 6 field goals, including a game-winning 61-yarder in the final minute of the game.
• 9/27/14 — Minnesota 30, Michigan 14: During an already unpleasant game, Michigan puts a clearly-concussed Shane Morris back in the game at quarterback.
• 1/7/17 — Seahawks 26, Lions 6: The Lions get absolutely outclassed by Seattle in the wild card round from start to finish.
• 11/24/18 — Ohio State 62, Michigan 39: Michigan, the №4 team in the country, gets lambasted in The Game.

Winner: Minnesota 30, Michigan 14. Four of these games were miserable and heartbreaking. One of these games made me sick to my stomach.

Being swept in the World Series is bad. Getting crushed in the playoffs is bad. Your rival dropping 60 on you is bad. Forcing your opponent to only score field goals and still losing, having your playoff hopes dashed in the process, is bad.

But reinserting out your sophomore quarterback into a game when he’s clearly concussed is rock bottom. It wasn’t a case of “maybe.” Everyone in the stadium and watching on television could see Morris wasn’t right. They botched the aftermath of the game, giving contradictory information to the press, eventually sending a press release in the dead of night spouting nonsense about a “probable, mild” concussion as if that’s a thing. Students had a rally and marched on the university president’s lawn. Athletic director Dave Brandon who oversaw all of this and had several other issues of his own, “resigned” a month later.

Brady Hoke and his staff often seemed out of their depths. Mostly that pertained to things like game preparation and playcalling. But in this instance, they failed in their basest, most important responsibility in the safety of their players.

Worst Coach: There have been a lot of bad coaches in the past decade. Some of them are still inexplicably with their teams!

• Brad Ausmus (2014–2017): 314–332 in regular season, 0–3 in only playoff appearance. More like Bad Ausmus.
• Jeff Blashill (2015-present): 146–173–50 in regular season, 1–4 in only playoff appearance. In the middle of a season where the Red Wings are on pace for a last-place finish for the first time since 1989–90.
• Brady Hoke (2011–14): 31–20 overall record, 18–14 in Big Ten with regression every year. Decent recruiter overall but player development was lacking and had key holes in several classes. Gave Rutgers its first Big Ten win. Worst moment in career detailed directly above this.
• Matt Patricia (2018-present): 9–22–1 overall record. Two consecutive last place finishes. Despite being “defensive genius” has fielded one of the worst defenses in the league.
• An amalgamation of Detroit Pistons coaches: 345–493 regular season record from start of 2009–10 season to now. 0–8 in two playoff appearances. One season above .500 and no finishes above 8th place in an Eastern Conference that has been weak for most of the decade.

Winner: Brady Hoke by a hair. This was the hardest category to choose. Ausmus was probably the first one I eliminated. He’s not a great manager who made some baffling decisions but I don’t think he’s as incompetent as the rest.

Jeff Blashill’s tenure has been awful and seems to only be getting worse (it’s a miracle he still has his job at this point), but he’s also been handicapped by rosters built on awful contracts.

That’s also the case for the amalgamation of Pistons coaches. Giving a joint award to the combined efforts of John Kuester, Lawrence Frank, Maurice Cheeks, John Loyer, Stan Van Gundy and Dwane Casey seems logical. The team has been mediocre at best in the past decade, but they’ve also been hamstrung by poor front office management. Of course in the case of SVG, he was both. But the Pistons are a team still clearly hurt by bad business decisions made a decade ago, and the NBA is the hardest league to move up in. That’s especially true when you’re bad, but not bad enough for a top lottery pick.

Matt Patricia’s tenure should probably be over as Lions head coach, but it’s not. He took a middle-of-the-road Lions team from Jim Caldwell and has driven it off a cliff. Even before Matthew Stafford got hurt this season, MVP-like numbers weren’t enough to get this team to win because the defense was so dreadful. That’s supposedly Patricia’s strong suit!

But the regression under Brady Hoke was magnificent. He’s also a victim of circumstance, because he probably shouldn’t have been in his position to begin with (if I was giving an award for worst management position, former Michigan athletic director Dave Brandon would’ve cleaned up). He’s the only one here with a winning record, but the 2011 Michigan season might be one of the biggest fluke seasons ever seen. His teams immediately regressed from there. Denard Robinson and Devin Gardner, two electric quarterbacks at their best, got significantly worse under Hoke’s tutelage. His offensive lines often ended up being disasters, even with some elite NFL talent. Adding the Shane Morris incident being the flat-out worst moment of coaching mismanagement of any of these coaches, and Hoke edges out his competition.

Worst Moment: Individual moments from the Worst Game finalists were excluded.

• 6/2/10 — The Imperfect Game: Everybody knows this one. Jim Joyce incorrectly calls Jason Donald safe at first, ruining Aramando Galarraga’s perfect game bid on the 27th out.
• 10/13/13 — David Ortiz Grand Slam: Big Papi hits a grand slam off Joaquin Benoit in the 8th inning of Game 2 of the 2013 ALCS, tying the game and sparking a Red Sox series victory. See also: Shane Victorino’s grand slam in Game 6.
• 1/4/15 — The Picked Up Flag: The clear worst call against the Lions this past decade. Officials throw a flag on a play with clear pass interference, but pick it back up and call no penalty. Lions shank a punt on the next play instead of having a shot at a field goal, if not another touchdown. Cowboys come back to win the game and move on in the playoffs.
• 10/17/15 — Trouble With The Snap: A botched play on a punt that would’ve pinned Michigan State in their own territory with maybe a couple seconds on the clock ends up with an MSU recovery and game-winning touchdown.
• 11/26/16 — The Spot: J.T. was short.

Winner: All of them; I don’t care. I would like to get off this ride, please.